I’m not afraid to admit my deep-seated appreciation for a good Rom-Com. The corny romance, the outfits, and yeah, sometimes even the problematic makeover. But there’s really just one scene that always gets me…the main character strut.
The phrase might be unfamiliar, but you probably already have a scene in mind. The wave of people parts and there, center frame, is our MC looking absolutely glamorous and walking with a level of confidence only an MC can have. Oh, and obviously there’s the incredibly catchy song playing in the background.
Deep down, we all dream of being the main character of some show or film. And deep down we wish our lives played out like our favorite film or series. Don’t believe me? I quite literally just finished reading an article on the rise of rom-comcore, aka, the practice of dressing up as your favorite character in a Rom-Com. But reality can be a disappointing comparison to fiction.
The older I get, the more aware I’ve become of my own disappointment toward my life. And really, who can blame me. Have you seen the news? The documentaries? The price of eggs?! But a small part of me still longs to find the joy and beauty around me. Disappointment can be draining and towards the end of 2022, I decided I was officially tired.
At the end of every year, I like to choose a word for the next one – something to strive for and hone in on. Usually it’s something I’m hoping to manifest in my life. Something adult-sounding like “focus” or “drive”. But this year, I had a wild realization. I wanted my word for the year to be…romance. And before anyone that knows me comes for my wonderful partner, I’m not talking in the relationship-sense. More like a perspective on life.
Listen, if influencers can make their lives enviable with the right filter, why can’t I do the same, sans social media? Why not romanticize my own life?
Personally, I’m against the whole “go big or go home” concept when it comes to resolutions. So I chose to start early with something small to ease my way into 2023. A month before, I had purchased a style guide from Fashivly, so I figured, why not start with my wardrobe? After all, their goal is to help bring out your “coolest most confident self” and I don’t know about you, but that sentence alone gives off main character energy.
The first day went something like this: I got up and went through my usual workout/breakfast routine. I had set my outfit out the night before because 1.) anxiety and 2.) it gave me time to really think and plan out every detail of my outfit without worrying about missing my train. And I’m not gonna lie, I felt a little silly. Why oh why was I going through all this trouble for my business-casual 9-5? But I committed and let me tell you: I walked out of my house feeling powerful. In fact, I found myself treating my entire commute to the office like the opening scene of a movie where I was…yup, the main character. Sarah Jessica Parker and Lily Collins could never.
So I kept going. Every night, I’d check my calendar and the weather for the following day and coordinate an outfit. Even on more relaxed days, I was particular about certain colors and silhouettes. I even took time to pick my jewelry.
The more I did this, the more confident I felt leaving my apartment. And the better I felt about myself, the easier it was for me to enjoy other things. The idea of romance started bleeding into other parts of my life. I found myself giving myself permission to do things I once deemed as unnecessary like going to a wine bar after work or not rushing through my skincare routine (please don’t tell my mother).
When I shared this with my therapist, first off, she told me she was proud of me (I know, I teared up too). Apparently this decision to dress myself up, even in small ways, was producing my body with all this lovely dopamine and serotonin. Deemed “dopamine dressing” in an article by Lo Styx , this decision to take what you wear into account goes into the psychological connection we have with certain colors and outfits. Obviously, this will look different for everyone based on your upbringing, culture and personal taste. But when you dress yourself up, in the words of my therapist, you’re convincing yourself that you’re doing something special. And when something is special, our minds and bodies react accordingly. In other words, when you dress and treat yourself like the star of your life, you act and feel like the star of your own life (or the sun, for us OG Gray’s fans).
I can’t promise you dressing up will lead to a corny romance. And I definitely can’t promise you’ll have a kiss in the rain or need to chase down your lover through an airport (strongly do not recommend by the way). But I can, from personal experience, tell you you might walk a little straighter and feel a little stronger. And maybe you’ll find other things to romanticize, other tiny ways to make life beautiful. And maybe, just maybe, your life will even begin to feel a little bit more like your own instead of just something passing you by. So take it from me: give yourself permission to romanticize your life…starting with your wardrobe.
